I'm not sure what it is about the middle of the night. It's always in the dead of night, when I'm alone with my thoughts, that I feel prompted to write. I think the biggest reason is all the noise in life. "Noise" has such a loud and harsh connotation. "Noise" is what adults are always hushing in children. "Noise" is what keeps an outside of town dweller from sleeping while visiting a big city. But noise isn't always bad; it isn't always loud. "Noise" can be friends laughing and catching up after months or years apart. "Noise" is a new member of the family crying. "Noise" can simply be the gentle hum of routine during your day. Noise surrounds us constantly. It can be audible noise, sensory noise, written noise, screen noise. The thing we don't get enough of is quiet.
When we are quiet, it allows our brain to focus on one thing: us. Our thoughts and feelings that aren't readily available during daily life are filtered to the surface. I know that not everyone is like me, and that some people are very decided feelers or thinkers. Everything they want to say comes right out, in the correct way, the first time. Some people immediately know when that twinge of feeling rises, the name and cause of the emotion. But for people like me, that twinge is nameless. It's felt too deep inside to dig out at a moment's notice. Those thoughts seem lost somewhere in the back of your mind, and even when you will them to come out of your mouth, they spill forth like a tangled mess. I believe that everyone needs quiet, but especially people like us. It allows the time and space to process those thoughts and emotions. To give names to everything and file it in the proper spot.
Quiet isn't just for processing. It is for creativity. So often that word is associated with crafting or making something tangible. That is the most visual result and usually what one is trying to attain. But creativity in itself is something more than a product. Creativity is a frame of mind. It is cultivating new ideas. A melding together of perception, intellect, imagination, and experience. When you are given the quiet, and the mental space to produce creativity, there is so much good that can come from that.
I believe quiet is also for healing. In addition to the healing that our bodies receive when our bodies are asleep, or quiet, there is also healing when our minds are quiet. Maybe you are like me and sometimes the quiet allows you to think "too much." I have often felt that way. But instead of running away from those thoughts and feelings that are trying to surface, if we process and work through them, I really believe healing can come from that. It's not pleasant nor easy. It will be painful. Believe me, I know the mental anguish that comes from replaying a painful conversation over and over in my head, feeling the same each time as I felt in that moment, even if it happend years ago. Or dwelling on a damaging even that occurred, wondering what you could have done to prevent it. Wondering why it even happened in the first place. But there is a place we can get to if we do the hard work of processing through all of that mess. The way we process might be different. Maybe quiet isn't the first step for you, or maybe you need someone to help you process through everything. But in the end, to be at a place where you can still your thoughts and be at peace, that is a beautiful thing.
Quiet is a beautiful thing.
Saturday, August 25, 2018
Wednesday, August 1, 2018
My journey to health
I started a journey to being healthier not quite a year ago. It started around September 2017. (I had to stop and think what year it was. Somehow it doesn't seem like it should be 2018.) I don't really recall what exactly sparked the decision to do something I've toyed with and talked about for years now. I do remember a podcast that was on the topic of fertility and hormonal birth control that started a research frenzy. And I will be honest in admitting that a large part of my drive to be healthier is driven by the desire to start a family in the near future.
I know I had enough of being utterly exhausted, not able to keep my eyes open in the evenings, for no apparent reason. I had enough of gaining and gaining weight. I had enough of a poor diet. I had enough of a sedentary lifestyle.
So here's a little about my journey to being healthier.
The first problem I wanted to tackle was my exhaustion. I do not have a physically taxing job, nor did I feel like I didn't sleep at night, so I had no idea why I was so very, very tired all the time. It was bad enough that I would get really sleepy on my 20 minute drive home from work. I would literally fall asleep at my desk daily. I could not stay awake no matter how hard I tried. It was negatively impacting my work and my relationships. As I was listening to the podcast mentioned above, something was said about the tiredness that is a side effect of hormonal birth control. My ears perked and my interest immediately peaked.
As a teenager, about age 15, there was a time where my period went for three months straight. I bled for that long. That is not healthy at all, and my mom took me to see a gynecologist. He didn't do an exam, but prescribed a birth control pill to stop the bleeding. It accomplished that, and I took it for a year, until the prescription ran out. I wasn't keen on going back to the doctor, and my mom agreed that we could see what happened when I got off the pill. So I did, and things went back to normal. Fast forward years later, and I didn't get back on hormonal birth control until about 6 months before my wedding. I knew that we didn't want to try for a baby right away, so I did what everyone does, and got a prescription from my doctor. I did the Nuvaring this time, and for 5 years, was seemingly happy with it. It wasn't until I started having all these issues that I even questioned it.
In addition to the tiredness, I had been unable to lose weight. I had been trying for months, counting calories, and couldn't lose a single pound. What's worse is that I seemed to be gaining in spite of my efforts to lose. That didn't add up for me. Also, this is uncomfortable to talk about, but it's so important to me that I share my experiences with others so that it might help someone else struggling. I had lost my libido. My sex drive was non-existent. I haven't always been that way, but it had been a gradual decrease over a couple years to nothing. This was obviously causing an issue in my marriage, because that is an important part of a marriage relationship! No, that isn't everything, but it is an important component of a healthy marriage. I didn't realize it at the time, but the hormonal birth control was causing that side effect for me. Not many women realize that can be a side effect.
So after I heard the information on the podcast, I deep-dived into research. I scoured the internet for reliable sources (hard to find sometimes!) about how hormonal birth control works and the ways it changes your body. After tons of reading, and talking with my husband, we agreed that I should go to the doctor and see if we could figure out what was going on. So I went to a new gynecologist and had my normal yearly exam. While talking to her before my exam, I expressed concerns about the exhaustion, the inability to lose weight even with counting calories, and the loss of libido. She suggested that we do some extensive blood work to see what the issues might be. She ran my iron, vitamin, thyroid, and hormone levels. The results came back that I had a slightly low functioning thyroid, was deficient in vitamin D, and low testosterone levels. All of these things contribute to the issues I was having. So she prescribed me a thyroid medication, over the counter vitamin D supplementation, and we discussed how to address the low testosterone level. There were a couple options, but during my research, I had read that hormonal birth control can contribute to low testosterone levels, so I decided to try getting off the Nuvaring, and see if my levels would increase naturally. We also discussed an alternative birth control method since I was getting off the hormonal birth control. She wrote me a generic prescription for a diaphragm. Yes, those seem super archaic to most people, and you even have a hard time finding a pharmacy that will fill it! But there is a new version called Caya that is available through a mail order pharmacy. I was able to pay for it out of pocket, they mailed it to me, then filed for reimbursement from my insurance company. It was a bit of a hassle, but worth it for what I was trying to accomplish. Along with the Caya, I purchased the Daysy fertility monitor. There's more info about that in the previous post.
After finishing a cycle with the Nuvaring in November 2017, I didn't start a new one. The immediate result was a return of my libido. Like I said, this is super awkward to talk about, but it's important! In the years and months before that time, I really began to question what was wrong with me. Why was I broken? Why did thing not work for me like they used to? I finally found the answer, and I was not broken. Things really have gotten so much better.
After getting off the Nuvaring, I started tracking my cycles using the Fertility Awareness Method. You can find more info about that on my previous post, or by googling it. This has really given me so much information and insight on how my body is or isn't working correctly. It's been fascinating! I know I will be able to use this information in lots of ways- seeing when my period is due, knowing when something isn't right and I need to see a doctor, avoiding pregnancy right now, and eventually using the same information to get pregnant later. I highly recommend it.
Another thing I began was taking supplements. I already had been taking a prenatal vitamin, at the recommendation of my previous gynecologist. She suggested that all women in child bearing age take them, not just women who were planning to get pregnant soon. So I had been taking an over the counter prenatal vitamin for about 2 years at that point. Which is crazy considering how low my vitamin D levels were, even with supplementation! So on top of continuing my prenatal vitamins, I added the over the counter vitamin D supplement that the doctor recommended. Also, I added a couple other supplements that were recommended based on the research I had done. Hormonal birth control leads to deficiencies in several minerals and vitamins, so I wanted to boost those as well. In retrospect, I might have gone a little overboard with one of them, so please consult a doctor before you decide to take a bunch of supplements.
I also started working on my diet. I have never been one to fad diet. If I even tried something, I never stuck with it for more than a week. So I knew that a fad diet wasn't going to be the answer for me. There is also so much conflicting information on what diet you should follow. All I knew is that I should watch my calories, and eat a balanced diet with lot of veggies and fruits, and not much sugar and simple carbs.
At the beginning of the year, my sister, mom, and I were having a discussion about being healthy and exercising. None of us had a sustainable exercise program, and we all needed it badly! My sister suggested a personal trainer that she had worked with in the past. So she made the call and got things started. We each found a time and class that worked for us. I go to a small gym three times a week in the afternoon, and work out in a group of people who match my exercise level, with the personal training directing our workouts and providing advise and oversight, should we chose, on our diet and tracking our weight. I have never enjoyed exercise before. It's always been very hard on me both because I have never been in peak physical condition, and because I have asthma that can be triggered by exercise. Every time I started to consistently exercise, I would get so discouraged by the lack of progress I would make. This time, he started me off really slow, and gradually worked me up to where I was keeping up with the group. Now I can do everything that everyone else is doing. It is very challenging for me, but I really enjoy it now! The people are great, and I feel good after working out. For my personality, I needed the accountability that comes with working with a personal trainer. I know he expects me to be there, and because of that, I show up consistently. I am loving it more than I ever thought possible.
So at this point, I have been tracking my cycles for several month, trying to get things to even out after coming off the hormonal birth control. It's not been all smooth sailing. I have run into a snag where I am experiencing a super long cycle and there's no end in sight right now. I have made an appointment with my doctor to get my blood work redone and see what's going on and what we might can do about this. Not having a period is not healthy. It might sound good, but it means something is out of wack and not working properly. You don't get a true period if you aren't ovulating, and if you aren't ovulating, you can't get pregnant. So that will be an issue in the near future when we decide to try for a baby. I want to get things figured out now rather than waiting until we are wanting a baby, and having to do more invasive things then. So that's my focus right now.
I've also encountered some cystic acne that is problematic. Most likely it's a result of a hormone imbalance- the same one causing my missing period. I suspect my levels of testosterone are too high at this point. I guess I did a too good job of raising it! We will see what the blood work shows when I go to my appointment in a little over a month. I hate waiting that long, but that's the only time they had available.
It might seem weird to some that I'm sharing so much personal information on the internet. I usually do not share this type of personal information, but I really feel that I should share with others, and this is my outlet to do so. If I can help one woman who is struggling and frustrated that her body isn't working, then I will have accomplished something. If you need someone to talk to, I am more than happy to listen or answer questions.
It's an ongoing journey to be the healthiest person I can be.
I know I had enough of being utterly exhausted, not able to keep my eyes open in the evenings, for no apparent reason. I had enough of gaining and gaining weight. I had enough of a poor diet. I had enough of a sedentary lifestyle.
So here's a little about my journey to being healthier.
The first problem I wanted to tackle was my exhaustion. I do not have a physically taxing job, nor did I feel like I didn't sleep at night, so I had no idea why I was so very, very tired all the time. It was bad enough that I would get really sleepy on my 20 minute drive home from work. I would literally fall asleep at my desk daily. I could not stay awake no matter how hard I tried. It was negatively impacting my work and my relationships. As I was listening to the podcast mentioned above, something was said about the tiredness that is a side effect of hormonal birth control. My ears perked and my interest immediately peaked.
As a teenager, about age 15, there was a time where my period went for three months straight. I bled for that long. That is not healthy at all, and my mom took me to see a gynecologist. He didn't do an exam, but prescribed a birth control pill to stop the bleeding. It accomplished that, and I took it for a year, until the prescription ran out. I wasn't keen on going back to the doctor, and my mom agreed that we could see what happened when I got off the pill. So I did, and things went back to normal. Fast forward years later, and I didn't get back on hormonal birth control until about 6 months before my wedding. I knew that we didn't want to try for a baby right away, so I did what everyone does, and got a prescription from my doctor. I did the Nuvaring this time, and for 5 years, was seemingly happy with it. It wasn't until I started having all these issues that I even questioned it.
In addition to the tiredness, I had been unable to lose weight. I had been trying for months, counting calories, and couldn't lose a single pound. What's worse is that I seemed to be gaining in spite of my efforts to lose. That didn't add up for me. Also, this is uncomfortable to talk about, but it's so important to me that I share my experiences with others so that it might help someone else struggling. I had lost my libido. My sex drive was non-existent. I haven't always been that way, but it had been a gradual decrease over a couple years to nothing. This was obviously causing an issue in my marriage, because that is an important part of a marriage relationship! No, that isn't everything, but it is an important component of a healthy marriage. I didn't realize it at the time, but the hormonal birth control was causing that side effect for me. Not many women realize that can be a side effect.
So after I heard the information on the podcast, I deep-dived into research. I scoured the internet for reliable sources (hard to find sometimes!) about how hormonal birth control works and the ways it changes your body. After tons of reading, and talking with my husband, we agreed that I should go to the doctor and see if we could figure out what was going on. So I went to a new gynecologist and had my normal yearly exam. While talking to her before my exam, I expressed concerns about the exhaustion, the inability to lose weight even with counting calories, and the loss of libido. She suggested that we do some extensive blood work to see what the issues might be. She ran my iron, vitamin, thyroid, and hormone levels. The results came back that I had a slightly low functioning thyroid, was deficient in vitamin D, and low testosterone levels. All of these things contribute to the issues I was having. So she prescribed me a thyroid medication, over the counter vitamin D supplementation, and we discussed how to address the low testosterone level. There were a couple options, but during my research, I had read that hormonal birth control can contribute to low testosterone levels, so I decided to try getting off the Nuvaring, and see if my levels would increase naturally. We also discussed an alternative birth control method since I was getting off the hormonal birth control. She wrote me a generic prescription for a diaphragm. Yes, those seem super archaic to most people, and you even have a hard time finding a pharmacy that will fill it! But there is a new version called Caya that is available through a mail order pharmacy. I was able to pay for it out of pocket, they mailed it to me, then filed for reimbursement from my insurance company. It was a bit of a hassle, but worth it for what I was trying to accomplish. Along with the Caya, I purchased the Daysy fertility monitor. There's more info about that in the previous post.
After finishing a cycle with the Nuvaring in November 2017, I didn't start a new one. The immediate result was a return of my libido. Like I said, this is super awkward to talk about, but it's important! In the years and months before that time, I really began to question what was wrong with me. Why was I broken? Why did thing not work for me like they used to? I finally found the answer, and I was not broken. Things really have gotten so much better.
After getting off the Nuvaring, I started tracking my cycles using the Fertility Awareness Method. You can find more info about that on my previous post, or by googling it. This has really given me so much information and insight on how my body is or isn't working correctly. It's been fascinating! I know I will be able to use this information in lots of ways- seeing when my period is due, knowing when something isn't right and I need to see a doctor, avoiding pregnancy right now, and eventually using the same information to get pregnant later. I highly recommend it.
Another thing I began was taking supplements. I already had been taking a prenatal vitamin, at the recommendation of my previous gynecologist. She suggested that all women in child bearing age take them, not just women who were planning to get pregnant soon. So I had been taking an over the counter prenatal vitamin for about 2 years at that point. Which is crazy considering how low my vitamin D levels were, even with supplementation! So on top of continuing my prenatal vitamins, I added the over the counter vitamin D supplement that the doctor recommended. Also, I added a couple other supplements that were recommended based on the research I had done. Hormonal birth control leads to deficiencies in several minerals and vitamins, so I wanted to boost those as well. In retrospect, I might have gone a little overboard with one of them, so please consult a doctor before you decide to take a bunch of supplements.
I also started working on my diet. I have never been one to fad diet. If I even tried something, I never stuck with it for more than a week. So I knew that a fad diet wasn't going to be the answer for me. There is also so much conflicting information on what diet you should follow. All I knew is that I should watch my calories, and eat a balanced diet with lot of veggies and fruits, and not much sugar and simple carbs.
At the beginning of the year, my sister, mom, and I were having a discussion about being healthy and exercising. None of us had a sustainable exercise program, and we all needed it badly! My sister suggested a personal trainer that she had worked with in the past. So she made the call and got things started. We each found a time and class that worked for us. I go to a small gym three times a week in the afternoon, and work out in a group of people who match my exercise level, with the personal training directing our workouts and providing advise and oversight, should we chose, on our diet and tracking our weight. I have never enjoyed exercise before. It's always been very hard on me both because I have never been in peak physical condition, and because I have asthma that can be triggered by exercise. Every time I started to consistently exercise, I would get so discouraged by the lack of progress I would make. This time, he started me off really slow, and gradually worked me up to where I was keeping up with the group. Now I can do everything that everyone else is doing. It is very challenging for me, but I really enjoy it now! The people are great, and I feel good after working out. For my personality, I needed the accountability that comes with working with a personal trainer. I know he expects me to be there, and because of that, I show up consistently. I am loving it more than I ever thought possible.
So at this point, I have been tracking my cycles for several month, trying to get things to even out after coming off the hormonal birth control. It's not been all smooth sailing. I have run into a snag where I am experiencing a super long cycle and there's no end in sight right now. I have made an appointment with my doctor to get my blood work redone and see what's going on and what we might can do about this. Not having a period is not healthy. It might sound good, but it means something is out of wack and not working properly. You don't get a true period if you aren't ovulating, and if you aren't ovulating, you can't get pregnant. So that will be an issue in the near future when we decide to try for a baby. I want to get things figured out now rather than waiting until we are wanting a baby, and having to do more invasive things then. So that's my focus right now.
I've also encountered some cystic acne that is problematic. Most likely it's a result of a hormone imbalance- the same one causing my missing period. I suspect my levels of testosterone are too high at this point. I guess I did a too good job of raising it! We will see what the blood work shows when I go to my appointment in a little over a month. I hate waiting that long, but that's the only time they had available.
It might seem weird to some that I'm sharing so much personal information on the internet. I usually do not share this type of personal information, but I really feel that I should share with others, and this is my outlet to do so. If I can help one woman who is struggling and frustrated that her body isn't working, then I will have accomplished something. If you need someone to talk to, I am more than happy to listen or answer questions.
It's an ongoing journey to be the healthiest person I can be.
Sunday, July 29, 2018
An uncomfortable topic you can't afford not to talk about
*Disclaimer: If you are a man, I'll warn you now that I'm going to talk about super female stuff. But I think men should be educated, because they have sisters, wives, and daughters that this stuff impacts.
**Also a disclaimer: I am NOT a medical professional, nor am I giving medical advice. I am only expressing my opinion and things I've learned. I encourage you to speak with your healthcare provider and most importantly, do your own research! Don't just take someone else's word for it, even if they have a medical degree. Do your homework and be your own advocate!
I have a subject that I've developed a huge passion for. It's not something that's often talked about in public, most definitely, but also not talked about between friends and confidantes either. That subject is female fertility. No, this doesn't just refer to getting pregnant and having babies, although that is a large part of it. It refers to the whole life cycle and monthly cycle that women go through. Not just periods either. Women were made to function around cycles. You hear a lot about hormones, but rarely in a good light. But we literally function around a raising a lowering of different hormones at different times. It's amazing to learn about the functions of each and how they impact EVERYTHING about our bodies, minds, and emotions. There are also different changes and bio-markers that our body has that indicate where we are in this cycle. And let me just clue you into one thing: it's a total MYTH that a "normal" menstrual cycle is 28 days and you're supposed to ovulate on day 14. While this may be true for a small group of women, it is BY FAR not the norm. There is a large range of how many days a healthy menstrual cycle should be. I could go on and on about all the things I've learned. But here's the kicker: I have been a woman all my life (ha) but there is no much I NEVER knew about my own body until less than a year ago when I began this journey to health and healing.
Another thing I've learned that I feel so strongly about, and wish I could tell every woman from age 12-60: Hormonal birth control is not the only option, nor is it the cure-all that doctors and others make it out to be. Now, I am not morally opposed to hormonal birth control in and of itself. I myself was on it for several years. There are many reasons that women take birth control, and that is completely valid. I just want women to know it's not the only option out there! I wish more doctors that prescribe it and women who take it every day knew more about how it works, side effects, and alternatives. If I had known then what I know now, I really think I would have made another choice, or make the decision to stop taking it sooner. Also, I just have to say this: just because you stop taking the pill, doesn't mean you're automatically going to get pregnant. I know there is a lot of push back when someone makes this decision, from doctors and from other women in their life. But don't let their biased opinion stop you from what's right for you.
I mentioned earlier that women were created to revolve around a cycle. Being on hormonal birth control stops this cycle. Most of the hormonal birth control options out there are synthetic estrogen and progesterone. It actually decreases the testosterone in lots of women and creates estrogen dominance. And yes, women do need certain levels of testosterone. The levels of these three hormones, and several others, are mean to rise and fall in a pattern, to allow your body to function as it needs to. Even the week when you are taking the placebo pill, and you bleed, that is not a true period. It's a withdrawal bleed prompted by the lack of estrogen in the placebo. When you interrupt this cycle, it causes side effects. Notwithstanding the serious ones, such as stroke, blood clots, and heart attacks, there are some women who experience weight gain, loss of libido, extreme tiredness, deficiency in vitamins and minerals, anxiety and depression, stomach issues, and more. I experienced most of these myself, but it took me so long to realize that the hormonal birth control was a contributing factor. I'm not going to blame all my problems on it, but it was definitely a factor.
So, you're probably asking "What is the alternative?" (that is, if you have dared to read this far!) Well, I'm going to be honest. There are no magic and super convenient options. This is a large part of the reason that so many women utilize hormonal birth control. I'm not going to go through all the options, as you have the internet readily available to you and can find those on your own. But I will share what I've found that I liked.
There is a company that has been in the fertility business for over 30 years. They have developed a device called Daysy. It is a small, hand-held device that measures your basal body temperature and what days your period occurs and it tells you with red, green, and yellow lights where you are in your cycle and if you are fertile or not. Red means fertile, you could get pregnant if you have unprotected sex. Green means you are not fertile and you are safe to go unprotected. Yellow means Daysy is still learning your cycle or your cycle is fluctuating, and you should stay protected if you don't want to get pregnant. This device is 99.4% accurate with perfect use (no unprotected sex on red or yellow days). In comparison, most hormonal birth control is said to be 99.9% with perfect use (never miss a pill, taken at the same time every single day), 91% with typical use. (Which, to be honest, is mostly how people take it. I can't say I ever had perfect use when I was taking it.) On days that are red or yellow, most people elect to use a barrier method or abstain. Here's the website if you are interested: https://usa.daysy.me/
Something else that has been super useful to me is learning Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). There are several schools of thought for this method, but most of them involve basal body temperature every morning, learning patterns of how your cervical fluid (aka "discharge" is how most people know it, and it's completely normal and healthy) changes through your cycle, and sometimes a couple other bio-markers. This has been super educational for me on how my body works and being in tune with where I am in my cycle. This system is useful for avoiding pregnancy and achieving it too. The knowledge works both ways.
I highly recommend that every woman reads the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. You can find it on Amazon here. I don't care if you haven't the slightest interest in anything to do with Daysy, FAM, cervical fluid, basal body temperature, or getting pregnant, and you plan to stay happily on hormonal birth control forever- Please read this book! It is a wealth of information about the female body. Everyone needs to know this! I wish I had read this as a teenager. She actually has a version for younger girls too, which is fantastic. This book can be a bit overwhelming because of it's size, but it's not a novel, it's a reference book. You don't have to read it cover to cover to find it useful.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, there's something else I want to address. Women need to be talking to each other about this stuff- about sex, about fertility, about their bodies. There are so many women who suffer in silence, not able to talk to their mothers, their friends, their husbands or even their doctors about something that seems so intimate and embarrassing. Believe me, I know! I hate having super awkward conversations. It's not easy for me to open up about super intimate things. But when you think something isn't quite right, when you're struggling with something, speak up! Most likely, you are not the only woman in the world dealing with a particular issue. You are "normal!" I was having a really hard time with something, and googling it wasn't getting me anywhere. I dealt with this issue for MONTHS, not knowing what to do. I finally asked my gynecologist about it at the end of my yearly appointment, almost chickening out, and it was a super simple fix, something that could be changed and made better. It was super awkward for all of 5 seconds, then there was so much relief! Find that person you can confide in. Maybe it's your mom, a trusted friend, a doctor you trust. Find that person and work up the courage to address and issue. There is so much healing and relief in getting something like that off your chest. Maybe you find out that you are not abnormal, it's not your fault, it's something that they also struggle with. Can you image how much better you'll feel? If I can be that person for you, please let me know! I would love to talk with you over the phone, a message, or in person. I love talking about all this, so I would be more than happy to be a listening and compassionate ear.
**Also a disclaimer: I am NOT a medical professional, nor am I giving medical advice. I am only expressing my opinion and things I've learned. I encourage you to speak with your healthcare provider and most importantly, do your own research! Don't just take someone else's word for it, even if they have a medical degree. Do your homework and be your own advocate!
I have a subject that I've developed a huge passion for. It's not something that's often talked about in public, most definitely, but also not talked about between friends and confidantes either. That subject is female fertility. No, this doesn't just refer to getting pregnant and having babies, although that is a large part of it. It refers to the whole life cycle and monthly cycle that women go through. Not just periods either. Women were made to function around cycles. You hear a lot about hormones, but rarely in a good light. But we literally function around a raising a lowering of different hormones at different times. It's amazing to learn about the functions of each and how they impact EVERYTHING about our bodies, minds, and emotions. There are also different changes and bio-markers that our body has that indicate where we are in this cycle. And let me just clue you into one thing: it's a total MYTH that a "normal" menstrual cycle is 28 days and you're supposed to ovulate on day 14. While this may be true for a small group of women, it is BY FAR not the norm. There is a large range of how many days a healthy menstrual cycle should be. I could go on and on about all the things I've learned. But here's the kicker: I have been a woman all my life (ha) but there is no much I NEVER knew about my own body until less than a year ago when I began this journey to health and healing.
Another thing I've learned that I feel so strongly about, and wish I could tell every woman from age 12-60: Hormonal birth control is not the only option, nor is it the cure-all that doctors and others make it out to be. Now, I am not morally opposed to hormonal birth control in and of itself. I myself was on it for several years. There are many reasons that women take birth control, and that is completely valid. I just want women to know it's not the only option out there! I wish more doctors that prescribe it and women who take it every day knew more about how it works, side effects, and alternatives. If I had known then what I know now, I really think I would have made another choice, or make the decision to stop taking it sooner. Also, I just have to say this: just because you stop taking the pill, doesn't mean you're automatically going to get pregnant. I know there is a lot of push back when someone makes this decision, from doctors and from other women in their life. But don't let their biased opinion stop you from what's right for you.
I mentioned earlier that women were created to revolve around a cycle. Being on hormonal birth control stops this cycle. Most of the hormonal birth control options out there are synthetic estrogen and progesterone. It actually decreases the testosterone in lots of women and creates estrogen dominance. And yes, women do need certain levels of testosterone. The levels of these three hormones, and several others, are mean to rise and fall in a pattern, to allow your body to function as it needs to. Even the week when you are taking the placebo pill, and you bleed, that is not a true period. It's a withdrawal bleed prompted by the lack of estrogen in the placebo. When you interrupt this cycle, it causes side effects. Notwithstanding the serious ones, such as stroke, blood clots, and heart attacks, there are some women who experience weight gain, loss of libido, extreme tiredness, deficiency in vitamins and minerals, anxiety and depression, stomach issues, and more. I experienced most of these myself, but it took me so long to realize that the hormonal birth control was a contributing factor. I'm not going to blame all my problems on it, but it was definitely a factor.
So, you're probably asking "What is the alternative?" (that is, if you have dared to read this far!) Well, I'm going to be honest. There are no magic and super convenient options. This is a large part of the reason that so many women utilize hormonal birth control. I'm not going to go through all the options, as you have the internet readily available to you and can find those on your own. But I will share what I've found that I liked.
There is a company that has been in the fertility business for over 30 years. They have developed a device called Daysy. It is a small, hand-held device that measures your basal body temperature and what days your period occurs and it tells you with red, green, and yellow lights where you are in your cycle and if you are fertile or not. Red means fertile, you could get pregnant if you have unprotected sex. Green means you are not fertile and you are safe to go unprotected. Yellow means Daysy is still learning your cycle or your cycle is fluctuating, and you should stay protected if you don't want to get pregnant. This device is 99.4% accurate with perfect use (no unprotected sex on red or yellow days). In comparison, most hormonal birth control is said to be 99.9% with perfect use (never miss a pill, taken at the same time every single day), 91% with typical use. (Which, to be honest, is mostly how people take it. I can't say I ever had perfect use when I was taking it.) On days that are red or yellow, most people elect to use a barrier method or abstain. Here's the website if you are interested: https://usa.daysy.me/
Something else that has been super useful to me is learning Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). There are several schools of thought for this method, but most of them involve basal body temperature every morning, learning patterns of how your cervical fluid (aka "discharge" is how most people know it, and it's completely normal and healthy) changes through your cycle, and sometimes a couple other bio-markers. This has been super educational for me on how my body works and being in tune with where I am in my cycle. This system is useful for avoiding pregnancy and achieving it too. The knowledge works both ways.
I highly recommend that every woman reads the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. You can find it on Amazon here. I don't care if you haven't the slightest interest in anything to do with Daysy, FAM, cervical fluid, basal body temperature, or getting pregnant, and you plan to stay happily on hormonal birth control forever- Please read this book! It is a wealth of information about the female body. Everyone needs to know this! I wish I had read this as a teenager. She actually has a version for younger girls too, which is fantastic. This book can be a bit overwhelming because of it's size, but it's not a novel, it's a reference book. You don't have to read it cover to cover to find it useful.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, there's something else I want to address. Women need to be talking to each other about this stuff- about sex, about fertility, about their bodies. There are so many women who suffer in silence, not able to talk to their mothers, their friends, their husbands or even their doctors about something that seems so intimate and embarrassing. Believe me, I know! I hate having super awkward conversations. It's not easy for me to open up about super intimate things. But when you think something isn't quite right, when you're struggling with something, speak up! Most likely, you are not the only woman in the world dealing with a particular issue. You are "normal!" I was having a really hard time with something, and googling it wasn't getting me anywhere. I dealt with this issue for MONTHS, not knowing what to do. I finally asked my gynecologist about it at the end of my yearly appointment, almost chickening out, and it was a super simple fix, something that could be changed and made better. It was super awkward for all of 5 seconds, then there was so much relief! Find that person you can confide in. Maybe it's your mom, a trusted friend, a doctor you trust. Find that person and work up the courage to address and issue. There is so much healing and relief in getting something like that off your chest. Maybe you find out that you are not abnormal, it's not your fault, it's something that they also struggle with. Can you image how much better you'll feel? If I can be that person for you, please let me know! I would love to talk with you over the phone, a message, or in person. I love talking about all this, so I would be more than happy to be a listening and compassionate ear.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
28 on the 28th
I wrote a post on my birthday last year, so I thought I would continue the trend this year.
Today I am 28 years old (28 on the 28th!).
Here's some things I'm loving:
My amazing husband of almost 4 years
My wonderful family
My awesome bonus family
Vanilla iced coffee from Chick Fil A
Podcasts and audiobooks
The fact fall weather has FINALLY arrived
My Happy Planner
Premier Jewelry
Embroidery
Things I'm learning:
I'm learning to be content with where I am right now. I love my life and the people and things in it. I don't need to rush the future. God has it all worked out in his timing, not mine!
I'm learning to love myself. I have always been so very critical of myself- my body and my personality flaws. I am trying to be healthier, but I need to embrace how I am right now, in addition to trying to better myself. I also have learned more about my personality and what makes me tick. It's so enlightening to realize why you are how you are and that there are other people like you!
I am becoming more comfortable with who I am. I don't let other people and what they say bother me as much now as I did before. Unlike a lot of people, I am looking forward to the last couple years of my 20s, and moving into my 30s.
Friday, July 22, 2016
"Tiny House" Living
I was cleaning and picking up our new little abode last night and was thinking about our "tiny house" living. There are a few things I've learned in the month we've been living in the travel trailer.
1) We really can get by on way less stuff. One example is in the kitchen. Ok, I have to confess, I LOVE dishes and kitchen gadgets. But I really paired down on our kitchen supplies. For one thing, we haven't been using an oven or stove. If I want to cook a proper meal, we go to the house. Otherwise, we have a toaster oven and a microwave. Also, we had planned to use paper products while living there, so I didn't pack many plates and bowls. We haven't bought paper products, but I had two plates and three bowls that were left out from the dishwasher of our apartment when we moved. So we have been using just those, and hand washing often. I haven't hated hand washing dishes as much as I thought I would!
2) Clothing: I worked a lot on my wardrobe when we were living in our apartment. We didn't have much storage or closet space there either, so I worked to pair down my clothing. Another reason I downsized was because I was holding on to many items that didn't fit, or that I just didn't like! There's no reason to have those items around. I don't quite have a capsule wardrobe yet, but that is my ultimate goal. So my clothes now fit in the small closet in the bedroom plus a small three drawer plastic bin. Jason's clothes are mostly in the dresser in the bedroom and a few pieces in the closet.
Shoes and accessories were also paired down. Though I still have probably 14 or 15 pair of shoes and of course I still have lots of jewelry! As my part time job, that jewelry makes me money, so it can stick around!
3) Living space: I thought I would quickly get cramped in our living space. The living room/kitchen/diningroom isn't very big! It's about the size or smaller than just the living room we had at our apartment. And the bedroom is tiny! There is enough space to walk at the foot of the bed, that that's about it! Thankfully, it's a king size bed tho! We did upgrade our mattress space from the queen sized bed we had at the apartment. But I have found that it really is ample space for me, Jason, and our two dogs. Now, if we didn't have a huge area for the dogs to run and play, that would be different, as our boxer Barrett is high energy! He can get his energy expended outside and be more relaxed inside. And the bathroom is very small if you have two people in it at once! I also think Jason would prefer a bigger shower at some point. But for now, if one person is in the bathroom, it's pretty efficient. There's more storage space than expected as well.
I really think I can take these insights to heart in our next home. I have been trending towards a more minimal lifestyle when it comes to stuff. Now, I will not have bare shelves and bare walls, but my focus is more "what are the things that I LOVE and are useful" not "keep all the things that I kind of like and might be useful one day in the future!" There's a huge difference. I have a natural tendency to be a saver, sentimental, a pack rat, or whatever you want to call it, but I truly want to make room for more people and more experiences rather than more stuff.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Itty Bitty Living Space
This is our new home for the next few months. It's been a long, hard summer so far, but suffice it to say, we are so glad to have the opportunity to live here! We are basically tiny house living for a while!
We have only been in the camper for a couple weeks now, and I am sure we will learn lots about living in a small space. I do have to say, that my parent's house is right next door, which is wonderful when we need a break from the smallness, or have a problem (like no A/C last night!) and can go stay at the house. So grateful for them!
So far, so good! We like our little space. There is lots of storage for our essentials. We have all our furniture and non-essentials in storage, and just brought what we need for a few months in the camper. I think these weeks ahead will teach us that we can live with a lot less stuff than we are used to. This year especially, I have focused on pairing down on the stuff, and keeping only the things that are useful and that I love. It has been freeing! I have also made a little money along the way by selling things I didn't need anymore- upwards of $100!
Whether you live in 2,000 sq. ft. or 200, make the most of the space you have. It feels so good to have things organized and put together. It is hard work and always a work in progress, but worth it in the end.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Why?
I have come across this question in several places: What is your why?
Most recently, I signed up for Money Saving Mom's 14 day online course, Make Over Your Evenings. You can find more info about the course here. The very first day focuses on that question. Another place I have heard the question is with Premier Designs training. You need to know your "why" in your business.
Why is it important to "know your why"? In order to make a change or stay the course in your life, you need to know the reason behind what you are doing. If you don't know why you're doing what you're doing, it will be hard to follow through.
Why am I trying to establish an evening routine? Why do I want to get up earlier in the mornings? Why do I want to have a home embroidery business? Why am I selling Premier Designs jewelry? Why am I focusing on being healthier?
With every important task you are trying to accomplish in your life, you need to know why you are doing it. Not just the surface reason, but the underlying, life changing reason you are doing that particular thing.
This seems to be the thing that will make the difference in meeting your goals and getting where you want to be in your life.
Do you know your whys?
Most recently, I signed up for Money Saving Mom's 14 day online course, Make Over Your Evenings. You can find more info about the course here. The very first day focuses on that question. Another place I have heard the question is with Premier Designs training. You need to know your "why" in your business.
Why is it important to "know your why"? In order to make a change or stay the course in your life, you need to know the reason behind what you are doing. If you don't know why you're doing what you're doing, it will be hard to follow through.
Why am I trying to establish an evening routine? Why do I want to get up earlier in the mornings? Why do I want to have a home embroidery business? Why am I selling Premier Designs jewelry? Why am I focusing on being healthier?
With every important task you are trying to accomplish in your life, you need to know why you are doing it. Not just the surface reason, but the underlying, life changing reason you are doing that particular thing.
This seems to be the thing that will make the difference in meeting your goals and getting where you want to be in your life.
Do you know your whys?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)