Dog Bites

If you had a dog that bit you every time you touched it, would you keep petting it? No! That would be dumb.  So why do I do the exact same thing?  How many times does it have to hurt before I quit reaching out? I can predict what will happen.  It's not like I'm ignorant of it, I just disregard it.  I tell myself that I deserve better and don't do it again; I'm through!  And then I turn around and act like a fool again.  How I must look to people.  So foolish and stupid.  Maybe I'll learn one day.

Desperation

There’s a lonely man thinkin’ about a long lost love
The gleam in a young girl’s eye
The content of a man just in from the cold
With a pretty young thing by his side

But he threw it away like a lifetime wasted
Still learnin’ what he ought to know
Once a fresh young buck now he’s down on his luck
And the miles are startin’ to show

So if you’re looking for a little affection
Don’t go waiting for the timing to be right
The trouble with romance is taking your chances
In the desperation of a downtown night

There’s a lonely girl sitting with a chip on her shoulder
Feeling that time’s runnin’ out
The dismay of a woman who never saw it coming
Never knew what it was about

The confusion of a girl who watched as her whole world
Completely unraveled at the seams
Once the toast of the town now it all comes down
To findin’ the man of her dreams

And when the lights go down and you’re all alone
You think you’ll never find love but you don’t wanna go home

But if you’re looking for a little affection
Don’t go waiting for the timing to be right
The trouble with romance is taking your chances
In the desperation of a downtown night 


By Mickey and the Motorcars

Life Recently

I really haven't done much writing on here since the semester started.  Not because I don't have time, but I really don't have the energy to sit down and sort out all my thoughts.  I try to stay busy with things that I don't have to think about too much.  But I'm sitting here in the Union, as I always do on Mondays and Wednesdays.  I have a ridiculous break, about three hours to kill.  Most of the time there's someone sitting there with me, but right now they're occupied doing other things across the table from me.  So it's a good a time as any.

School is going well.  Even with 18 hours, the work load isn't unbearable.  I have a feeling this will change when midterms roll around in a couple weeks, but it's nice for now.  I'm taking three elective classes, so that's nice.  One of them I actually like- floral design.  The only thing we've done so far is listen to lectures, but tomorrow I get my first set of flowers and have to make things with them.  Pretty excited.  My Italian class is good too.  There's a lot of learning I have to do on my own.  Basically we're supposed to learn it from the book and just practice in class.  Not my favorite way of doing things, since I learn better audibly, but oh well.

As far as my "love life" or whatever you want to call it, it's non-existent.  Refer to the previous post.  I have a slight crush, but I've decided not to give it much attention or thought.  It would inevitably lead to frustration and disappointment.   I don't hang out with friends as much as I did, either.  I miss it.

There's never a shortage of drama in my life.  Whether I create it or it just happens, I'm not sure.  But nevertheless it's there.  I tend to struggle with the same things over and over again.  I think I'm over it, then it comes back and bites me in the butt.  I'm rather tired of it, honestly.  But what can I do?

In other news, I still don't know what to do with my life.  Big surprise, right?  I'm tempted to find a job somewhere, just any good job, and move off somewhere a good way off and start fresh.  Start saving for a few things I'd like to buy.  Try to enjoy being young and single for a while. I guess it'll have to do.

I'm going home this weekend.  I can't wait.  I need family time.  Time where I can be the kid and let my parents worry about stuff instead of me.  OK, so that's probably just a delusion, but it will be nice to be with everyone for a little while.  I miss my parents.  I need a hug.