Saturday, September 10, 2011

I'm a big girl now....?

Well, a good bit has happened in the past few weeks.  I'm engaged now. :)  I'm very happy and excited about it.  I haven't really started planning the wedding.  Haven't talked about it much either.  Has a lot to do with all the stress right now.

I've been on the road for three weeks doing my job.  It's a lot different than I thought it would be.  I'm not so sure I'm doing a good job.  I don't like being away from home.  There's a good bit of stress involved.  I'm not competitive or sales-minded.  I don't like working 13 hour days or sometimes longer. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I accepted the job.  Oh wait, I just wanted a paycheck.  I was ready to get my own apartment and be self sufficient.  It hasn't worked out so well and now I just feel stuck.  Sometimes I think I'm really dense.

I have come to dread two weekends every month.  My Love works every other weekend.  His work schedule combined with mine doesn't work together very well.  Weekends we spend together are amazing.  I don't want to do anything other than be with him.  Weekends he is working are long and often boring.  I travel all week, so the last thing I want to do on the weekends is travel more.  So I stay home.

I want things to be different.  But I don't know how to change them.