Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Noche

Lonely nights are not fun. Maybe one day I won't have to hate that time right before I go to bed, when my head is going non-stop and my heart aches.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Super Glue

I'm waiting on my terribly slow computer to tag some photos for work, so I figured I'd write.

I had a super amazing weekend.  We had Monday and Tuesday off from school, so a few friends and I drove to Texas to spend the weekend.  Me and three others drove out Friday night, and went to the MSU v. UH football game in Houston the next day.  The whole day was pretty fun.  We got to spend some time at the Alumni tailgate before the game.  Then we beat UH.  Great day.  On the way home, because it was late and we were tired, there was a good bit of laughing and cutting up going on.  Mostly centered around swiping a "table tent" from Whataburger and reading jokes on the way back to the house.  One of those "had to been there" kinda things.  Sunday was more laid back.  We went to church, then went out to shoot the new guns.  I was pretty excited to shoot mine for the first time.  Good times. I'm pretty sure I have hearing damage from shooting without ear protection, but oh well.  We went to hang out at the Property later that afternoon.  Great time just hanging out and talking with people.  Monday was our San Antonio adventure.  We went all over the place: the Alamo Cafe for some amazing tortillas, the zoo, the Alamo, the Tower of the Americas, Main Plaza.  It was really great.  I got to spend time with my best friend, and get to know the two guys who went. Though we weren't home too much, it was great to see my parents.  I miss them so much!  I'm blessed with some pretty great people in my life.  I try never to take that for granted.  No matter how many miles separate you from those who are important to you, don't let distance lessen your relationship, or keep new ones from growing.

After a couple of pretty horrible weeks, things are looking up.  Or maybe I'm just looking Up now, and things are just easier when I'm not trying to handle it by myself.  I'm really trying not to worry as much and really let God handle it.  I mean, after all, He created the universe, so He's more than able to handle my minute little life.  Driving home from class today I noticed that the leaves on the trees are starting to change.  If they're changing, now's as good a time as any for me to change as well.  I'm really not sure why I beat my head against the wall and try to make things work out the way I want them to work.  The simple fact is that if it's going to work, it will, regardless of me.  On the other hand, if it's not meant to be, it's still going to fall apart no matter how many times I rush in with super glue to fix every crack.

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4
This verse has always struck a cord in me.  I understand it on a surface level, but it still perplexes me.  What does it mean to "delight" yourself in the Lord?  Just substituting another word like "obey" or "follow" doesn't seem to be it.  The way I look at it is that God really enjoys your company.  It sounds cheesy, but it makes sense to me.  There are people who I am around that I like, people I don't particularly care for, and people I don't really notice all that much.  But when I'm with someone who I really love spending time with, miss them when I don't see them in a while, and really think they're a great person, I "delight" in that person.  I think that's what we should strive for in our walk with God.  He should be happy to be around us (because He's around us all the time!) and that he is pleased in the way we're living our life.  Ok, so now that I know kinda what delight is, what about the second half of the verse?  "He will give you the desires of your heart."  I heard a pastor say once that God doesn't put a dream in your heart without there being a purpose for that.  God has most definitely put a dream in my heart.  I'm striving to delight in Him so that maybe this dream will happen someday soon.  And when it does, I'll have only God to thank, because, as I mentioned before, my super glue can't fix every crack.  Only the Potter can craft a vessel that's a perfect fit, whole and right.  That's what I'm banking on.