Thousand Dollar Wit

Soo... Recently my posts (though sparing) have been somewhat in the direction of the not so happy. Ok, downright depressing. But I've decided to pull out that thousand dollar wit and humor again to have you thoroughly entertained.  Ok, so somewhat amused at least.  I hope.  Ahem.

So let's get the ball rolling.  Since I don't have anything in particular to rant about nor do I have an appropriate soapbox topic as of late, I'll go on about what's going on in my life.  I know you're on the edge of your seat now.

I successfully (depending on how you define success) finished another semester of college.  I passed all my classes and didn't bomb my gpa too bad.  I have ONE more semester left!  It can't end soon enough.  But then again, I like the college life.  Just not the classes, tests, teachers, and that sort of stuff.  Ah well.  I'm taking 12 hours (the least number of hours I've had in the history of ever) and I'm looking forward to it.  I also hopefully will have an internship (cross your fingers Monday morning).  I hope it will be the jump-start I need to begin this whole career thing.

I am happier than I've been...pretty much ever.  Most of that is due to a wonderful addition to my life.  You'll probably get tired of hearing about him, but I don't care.  This is my blog, after all.  I figure if you didn't like hearing me ramble on, you would have stopped following long ago! (Because rambling is my middle name.  Ok, not really. That would be awful silly.  My momma loves me more than that.) Anywho, back to the topic at hand.  I am being treated like the inner princess that I am (tongue-in-cheek here, people) and we have so much fun together.  I have finally found someone who can be as goofy as I am, and understands all my random cartoon movie references.  Hello, first date we watched The Emperor's New Groove.  Can you say keeper? That's all I'll go on about right now.  Stay tuned for more gushing. ;)

I have direction in my life and that makes me happy as well.  I like having a plan.  And making lists.  And brainstorming.  And being organized.  Probably to the point of obsession, but hey, one must obsess about something.  Or somethings...  I digress.  So here's the plan (I've stopped putting letters e.g. A, B, C because there are only 25 letters in the English alphabet...):  Get an internship and finish my last semester of college.  I love multitasking.  Yay.  Then, in a perfect world, that internship would morph into a full-time job.  If not, I'll find a full-time job somewhere.  I want to stay in the Starkville area for a while.  That will allow me to save up some money and get my feet under me.  That's about as far as I've gotten, but it's much farther than I was just a couple months ago.

I am in a crafty mood as of late.  Not the trick you kinda crafty, but the make cool stuff out of regular stuff kinda crafty.  My project in progress is making Christmas ornaments.  Yes, I'm aware that December 25th has already passed.  I'm looking ahead to next Christmas.  They're made of paper circles that you score and glue together to form a geometrical sphere thing.  I'll have to post a picture later.  Hard to explain.  Anyhow, they're made with cool vintage/old fashioned-looking paper.  I think that shall be the theme to the Christmas decorations I'm amassing slowly.  I've decided to get three jars.  One with $, another with $$, and the third with $$$ written on them.  In them I'll put slips of paper with ideas for craft projects.  Most of the ones I do right now will probably come out of the $ jar, seeing as how I'm broke most of the time.

I have a fabulous idea to start my own business.  I want to be a special events coordinator.  (That's my official title.  Party planner sounds a bit unimpressive).  I have all kinds of ideas floating around in my head, some of which have landed on paper in my Book of Gradios Ideas.  Yes, it has a title.  Just go with it.  I have a rather large bubble around my head and would hate to have it slap someone in the face when it popped.  Just sayin'.

So there are some random, off-the-wall, crazy things that are going on right now.  Hope you were enterta--I mean, slightly amused. Adios por ahora.

  

         

The Center of a Pound Cake

Tasting the hottest hot sauce in Texas

and there’s no bread nor milk

anywhere around.

Pressing your face into the glass

of the cake shop downtown

knowing you can’t afford McDonald’s

much less a $2,500 wedding cake.

Going for hours after eating

a bowl full of pistachios

without a single glass of water

to soothe that burning saltiness

on your tongue.

Smelling the forbidden pecan pie

in the oven your mother

is taking to the church picnic,

knowing you’ll never get a slice.

Running to the kitchen

after a terrible day at school,

looking behind the Slim Fast

for the hidden tub of cookie dough,

then realizing your brother

ate all of it.

Missing you is worse

than the lingering burn

on the tongue after a too eager

bite of steaming, buttered cornbread. 

How to Go From Boredom to Philosophy

Sit in class, let your mind start to wander.

Secondary labor market, economy, administrations—

Save no room for these words in your head.

Fill your mind with more important musings, not

the secondary labor market, economy, or administrations.

Let the words from the front breeze by your ears while

your mind is filled with more important musings.

Only come because of the guilt.

Let the words from the front sting your ears

while you are busy making grand life plans.

Only come because of the guilt

of skipping the past three classes.

Be busy making grand life plans

none of which involve sitting in this class.

Skip the next three classes so that you can

spend the whole next day contemplating your perfect love life.

Nothing you want in life involves sitting in this class.

You can’t help that you have no more room left in your head

because you spend your days contemplating your perfect love life.

Sit in class, let your mind start to wander.