Unsettled

He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back

Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred,
But I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be
"Near to You"- A Fine Frenzy

Still bummed about summer plans falling through. I've been in a weird mood today. Unsettled is the best way I can describe it. Still reeling over past hurts. Not sure what to do about that except try to forget.

On one hand, I want someone. Terribly. On the other, I don't want anyone. Because if I don't "have" anyone, I won't have to worry about getting hurt or hurting someone else. And I can do my own thing. But that's neither here nor there.