Crossing My Fingers

I have found a fleeting internet connection and hope it lasts 'til I can finish the post!

Tonight I'm going to an information session about a job.  I have to speak while I'm there too.  I get so nervous when I speak in public!  But that's pretty much what the job requires, so I've got to beat the nerves and do good so they will hire me!  I need a job so bad!  It would help so many things that are going on right now.  Finances, family, my relationship, my sanity. No kidding.

I'm ready for my life to start, so to speak.  I'm ready for my days to be filled with meaningful work, seeing my guy, working out, and doing things I enjoy, instead of watching my guilty pleasure in the morning, eating, and searching for this phantom internet connection.  It's the highlight of my day when I have an errand to run.  I'm 22 years old.  I want to be doing things that a single (as in not married) girl should do.  Heck, if I make enough money, I may travel some.  

I always sit down to blog and think I have so much to say.  And maybe I do, but somehow it doesn't all translate from my brain to my fingers.  There's so much going on in my head and in my life.  Part of it gets cut for privacy sake.  I can't put everything online for all to see.  Some of it gets left out because I'm forgetful.  So I guess that only leaves a little bit left to write about.

I have a chance to go to Washington, D.C. this weekend.  It would be an awesome trip, but I'm afraid I'll miss out on a job opportunity.  I really can't decide anything until after tonight.

So, we all know that I don't like change.  But what if it's change that I had previously wanted?  Why do I have a problem with that?  I think half my problem is that I have an expectation of how the people I'm close to act.  When they act opposite of my notion, I freak out.  Even if it's something I wanted.  That makes no sense whatsoever.  I wonder sometimes what kind of nutcase am I?

Apparently the kind of nutcase who is contemplating joining a roller derby team.  I'm not sure if this is one of those I-read-it-in-a-book-or-saw-it-on-a-movie/tv-and-now-I-want-to-do-it urges, or if it's something I could actually do.  I guess if I ever get the courage up to go watch a practice, I'll find out.

So I guess I did have a bit to write about today.  Go figure.  Hopefully my next post will be titled "YOU'RE HIRED!"