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Good and Bad

There are good and bad things about living by yourself.  Good: you can walk around in your underwear.  Bad: there's no one to welcome you home after a long, hard day at work.  Good: you can watch or listen to whatever you want, whenever you want.  Bad: having to constantly have the tv or radio on because the house is too quiet. Good: you can have whatever you'd like for supper.  Bad: cooking and eating alone.  Good: peace and quiet, and not having conflict with another person.  Bad: having to deal with the conflict in your mind.

On another note, a while back I was working on a photography project for my class.  I was trying to get the hang of panning so I was outside taking pictures of the horses.  The dogs were out chasing them (btw, that's a funny sight, little dachshunds chasing Tennessee walkers) so the mare and her filly were running around the pen.  I was standing in the middle snapping shots.  I didn't get the hang of it on that try, but I got some neat pictures anyway.  My mom fell in love with one of them I took.  The colors are all washed out because it was taken with the aperture all the way open and the shutter speed was too slow.  She still thought it was cool and didn't even want me to Photoshop it.  So she tells me the other day that she's ordered this photo to be printed onto a canvas.  I was shocked and flattered too!  My picture printed on canvas? Too cool!

So here's the original photo:

And here's the canvas version:

I like. :)


Yesterday, I discovered a turtle in our pool. I thought he wasn't alive at first, because usually when you walk outside, they dive underwater and you don't get to see them.  This guy was floating near the top and didn't move until I touched him with the net.  He wasn't that fast of a swimmer, so I was able to catch him and get him out of the pool.  I didn't want to just put him in the yard because the dogs might get him, or he'd wind up right back in the pool.  So I put him in a container and drove out to the pond.  I figured he'd be pretty happy there.

For Sure Not Now and Probably Not Ever...

I can finally put it to rest.  I thought I had months ago, but sometimes we don't realize what we're holding inside until someone comes along and pokes a hole in us.  But after three miserable days, I have an answer.  So that's that. I'll still have to deal with memories, but those will fade in time.  I hope anyway.

An old dream was resurrected, but now that it's dead for good, I can go back to my new dream.  The one that doesn't cause hurt and confusion.  I'm going to get there come hell or high water.  It may take me forever, but I will get there.

You Mean I Have to Make A Living?!?!

I started a new blog about finding the perfect career and job hunting. Check it out here.

A New Dream

Today I started thinking about where I want to live after college. It's something I've thought about before, but have always been overwhelmed by it, so just stopped thinking about it for now. Today I decided to let my mind wander. I'm reading a book set in South Carolina, near the coast. I guess it inspired me to find out more about that area. I've been to SC before, and it's gorgeous there. I have been wanting lately to live near the coast. I love the beach so much. I know I won't be able to afford beach front property, but just living near it would be amazing. I also want to be in a smaller town or just outside town. So I started looking at different coastal towns in SC. Eventually I started looking at houses and my mind went wild with possibilities. So here's what's shaped in my mind so far:

Picture a small house just off a quiet street. It's a pretty pastel color-maybe light blue or yellow-with white trim. There are flower pots and a rocking chair on the front porch. You can smell salt in the air and know you're close to the coast. Inside the colors are soft but bright. Lots of whites, blues, greens, pinks, and purples. The furniture looks like it has been there for fifty years, and while it doesn't all match, it compliments each other. There are accents from all over the world, and pieces I've collected over the years. Porcelain dolls from Austria, a tea pot from England, lace from Romania, sand in a jar from Florida, cowboy boots by the fireplace, black and white photographs of historic places, and pictures of friends and family. It feels comfortable and lived in. Two dogs nap on the couch. A cat wanders through the living room. The back yard is neat and shady with plenty of space to have a cookout. A hammock provides the perfect place to read or catch a nap. The house reflects all the facets of my personality and fits me perfectly.

I have a job that I enjoy doing. It may not seem exciting and full of drama to some people, but I make a difference and enjoy the work. I find a small-ish church that I love and get involved in. I make it down to the beach several times a week to walk the dogs or enjoy a sunset. I try to talk myself into running or going to a gym every once and a while. I take day trips to nearby historical towns to take pictures. In my spare time I'm working on my house or yard, or editing pictures, reading, or learning how to do something.

I envision a quiet kind of life, somewhat secluded until I establish relationships. I never thought I'd be happy living by myself, but it's becoming more and more desirable. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. I would be free to make some decisions for myself, doing what's best for me at the time. It think it would be a time for me to grow a lot and get a good start in "the real world." Hopefully I would spend time growing in my relationship to God, finding lasting relationships with people, especially older women who could mentor me, and developing my character more.

Now, I know very well that all of this will not happen exactly like I want it to. That's why they call it a dream. But it is something I can work towards. I'm excited to finally have some direction now.

Commentary and Messages

It's been a while since I posted, so I figured it was time. I always have a myriad of things to say, but when I actually sit down to write, it escapes me. There are so many things through the day that I want to say. My mind is like a running commentary on the world around me and how it effects me. Take lunch today for example. I was in Austin working, and decided to go out to lunch instead of bringing my lunch with me. It breaks up the routine and honestly I was ready to get out of the office for a while. I finally found my way out of the sketchy part of town where I work, and went to a deli. I went inside, ordered food, and sat down at a table. Shortly my food came out and I began to eat. I was in just the right spot to watch people as they walked by, getting food and finding tables. So naturally I added commentary in my head.

I also did something I haven't done in a while. I got my plate, picked up my fork, and thought, "I need to say the blessing." I had already taken a bite. But then I thought, "What if I talk to God as I'm eating? Like I would do if I were eating with a friend." Now before you go thinking I got all spiritual and holier than thou during lunch, I'll clear things up for you. It wasn't earth shattering. The heavens didn't open up right there in Jason's Deli and shine down on me. It was more like a text message conversation between me and God. I shot him a few quick messages, and he even responded. Or, more accurately, I read his response. I had been having a craptastic morning (being Monday and all) and after that, my mood lifted a bit. I didn't skip outside, but I at least had enough peace to finish the day at work. I think it's a good start. Tomorrow I'm going to find another way to have a conversation. Perhaps we'll even progress to a phone call. :)

My Favorite Jeans

I'm trying out a new look for my blog. Not sure if I like it yet or not. Seems a little hard to read. Feedback?

I'm back in Mississippi right now. It always feels good to come back here. It's like putting on your favorite pair of jeans. It's comfortable and familiar. They're soft and worn-in, fitting perfectly in every way. I don't always wear my favorite pair of jeans, but I'll never throw them away. I'll pull them out every once and a while and remember all the memories that were made while wearing them.

Every time I think about it, It's like the realization hits me anew each time--I'm a senior. This is my last year of being a college student. Wow. I'm sad, excited, and apprehensive all at the same time. I know I'll be ready to move onto the next thing by next year, but for now I'm going to enjoy what's left.

This week was so tiring. I was almost to the point of burnout by the time it had ended. I worked every day but today, and helped at VBS at night. So there were a couple days I left at 7 and didn't get back home til 10 that night. That makes for a terribly long day. I don't when I have been so exhausted. One day at work I fell asleep at the computer! Not good. It didn't help that I kept finding unfriendlies (in the form of scorpions) in my room. Now, not much bothers me or freaks me out. Not snakes, bugs, rats, and even most spiders. But scorpions are a different things altogether. They are creeptastic. Ick. I wasn't so much of a chicken as not to fix the problem when it presented itself, but what I really wanted to do was stand on my chair and yell for my dad to come and kill it for me. I think he wouldn't have like that very much, because it was late at night, so I cowgirl-upped. Didn't have to like it though. So there were several things that made this week long. But I'm finally to the weekend and back in Mississippi.

Sunday starts the beginning of a grand adventure with my awesome friend/roomie! :) I'm so very excited for her to come and visit me in Texas. I plan on showing her some of the flavors of the area we live in and some Texas culture in general. Aside from that, we have girl-talk to catch up on. I've missed her, my sister, my other roomie, and all my amazing friends soooooo much already this summer. I depend on them to be there for me, and they always are. I love y'all so much.

I'd like you to keep someone in your prayers, as he is in mine. A very good friend is spending his summer in Peru, and could use prayers for his health, patience, guidance, and for him to be open for God to use him this summer. Whether he reaches one or one hundred, it will be all for God's glory.

Here's some MSU news for you: my brother will now be joining ranks as an official Bulldog this fall! I'm so happy he's decided to come here. Also, cowbells have been legalized in the stadium again. What an amazing year this is going to be!!!

But for now, let's enjoy what's left of summer. It may have its downs, but when else can you find that deeply warm feeling of the sun on your face, playing in the water wherever you can find it, riding with the windows down blaring the newest summer tune, lazy evenings grilling with the family, and late night talks in the humid air under the stars. All these things are priceless to me.

Redeeming Love

Last night I finished reading "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. If you haven't read this book, you need to. I don't care if you're a guy or a girl, 20 or 80. You need to read it. This is not your normal Christian fiction book. I wouldn't call it a pleasure read either, because as I was reading this book, I was convicted, and I cried. If you don't know anything about the book, I won't give anything away, but I'll tell you it's a story like that of Hosea in the Bible. I identified with Angel more than I would like to admit. I found in her my own weaknesses and vices, fears and doubts. I began to love Michael as she did, and have raised my standards quite a bit because of it. I don't know if there are guys like Michael in existence today, outside of fiction, but I've decided to wait and see. I'll wait forever, if that's what it takes. Unconditional love has been something that I've known about, but never really seen an example that touched me like this book. It's amazing to me that every time we go back to our old, reckless, dirty ways, God comes to get us and waits for us to come back into His arms. I found a way back to God and to the forgiveness he offers freely if we only ask. I don't want to wander from Him again. I probably will, because I'm human, but knowing that He'll always be there with me is a feeling I can't describe. He loves me. Really loves me.

It struck me that there are two kind of loves. There's the love that you think is the real thing. You feel amazing when they are near you. You dismiss their faults, ignoring them when they come up and only looking at the good things. It's a love of convenience. You cling to them like they are the only thing that can give you happiness and worth. You would do anything to be with them, even things that aren't right. But in your mind, it's justified because you "love" them. When they leave, the hurt you feel is indescribable. It feels like your heart is sinking inside your body. You know you shouldn't feel like that but can't help it.

The other love is different. You still feel amazing when they're around. But that person isn't you sole source of happiness and worth. They add to it substantially, but both of you know that only God makes you whole and gives you worth. This is a love that lasts a lifetime, not just for a season. I don't know everything about this love, because I've never experienced it, but it is my goal.

Full Swing

Summer has gotten started. It's been good so far. I've worked a lot, which is both exciting and tiring. I'm not used to getting up so early, especially on the mornings when I have to be in Austin at 8:30. It's quite a commute. I don't mind it so much. It's time I get to think, listen to music, or listen to an audio book. At my internship at the Red Cross, I'm learning all that's involved in running a non profit organization. It's not just the front lines stuff that people see. There's a ton of stuff that goes on day-to-day that makes the first response in a disaster possible. I think I'm heading in the right direction as far as a career. I could get into this. While a good bit of it may be office work, there's new challenges every day. I doubt you'd encounter two days exactly alike.

My other job, the one that pays, is filling in at the vet clinic in town. We're good friends with the receptionist and the vet. It's been neat working there too, because in addition to the money, I get to talk to Doc. He's a very interesting man. He's super intelligent, and we have actual deep conversations. They're about random topics too. He likes to pick my brain, as he calls it.

I've been adding to my calendar steadily, but it's mostly work related. I'm not getting to go to concerts like I had hoped. I'm not sure why I bothered to look them all up and get excited about going. Surely I knew deep down that there wouldn't be anyone to go with me. I have successfully alienated, one way or another, anyone who I used to hang out with in Texas. One relationship shouldn't have even started, and it fell to pieces around me. I'm reeling with the consequences of that. The other, I'm not sure what happened. I guess I pissed them off. I honestly was a butt about some things and attempted to apologize in person and not on the internet, but wasn't given the time of day. I don't know what to do now. Nothing I guess. Obviously they want to be left alone. I guess all of that to say that I'm starting to feel a little lonely.

I'm excited about my roomie coming to see me though. She has never been to my house out here and I know we'll have an awesome week together. I need her friendship so badly! I don't know what I'd do without her. If only my other roomie could come, the week would be complete. I miss her too!

I've been all teary this evening. Not sure why exactly. Maybe I need a good cry. I'm getting that achy wanting in my chest again. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I probably couldn't explain it.

Venting

Why do we feel the need to vent to other people? Especially via social networking? When you've got a problem with someone or something, isn't there the tendency to update your status, tweet, or write a blog post about it? Even if you don't act on the impulse, surely it's there. Or maybe perhaps I'm generalizing. I know I have those tendencies. Just tonight, I was on Facebook (as usual) and I came across some things that aggravated issues that I've been dealing with. My first inclination was to update my status with some vague statement or song lyrics that I hoped one person in particular would read. Why would I do that? It seems absurd. I should be able to just tell that person what I think, but I don't often possess that ability.

I can usually express myself in writing, which is the main reason I have this blog. It's somewhere to let my thoughts loose. Some of those thoughts should be kept to myself I think. I sometimes forget that I'm not sending these posts out into thin air, but before the eyes of people, perhaps even people close to me. I should be careful what I say.

I had hoped when I started this blog, a little less than two years ago, that it wouldn't turn into a place where all I did was complain. Seems like lately that's what it's become. I'm going to work on that this summer. I want this to be a place where you might find encouragement, information, advice, or perhaps just someone you can relate to.

It seems that things get to me way to easily. Just seeing a name or picture can conjure up memories that I'd sooner forget than dwell on. Sometimes those memories aren't bad, but they're a reminder of things I've lost, people who have forgotten me, or things I've messed up. Not easy reminders at all.

Outside My Window

All is right in my world at the moment. I'm sitting on the deck of the condo we rented in Pensacola, Fl, drinking a Frappuccino and watching the sunset. The picture above is what I'm looking at right this moment. Just factor in the sound of the waves and the salty breeze coming off the water. My dad is grilling hamburgers on the deck too. Smells heavenly. It's going to be a great week with my family leading up to me little brother graduating. I can hardly believe he's old enough to graduate and go to college this year. I'm hoping we get to hang out a good bit this summer before he goes off and forgets about his big sis. He's pretty cool most of the time. We went for a walk on the beach last night. It was fun just goofing off and talking. He thought it was entertaining watching me avoid the ghost crabs. Those things kinda creep me out. They look like spiders.

Things I love about the beach:

The smell of the air- It's salty and humid.

The sound of the waves- The gentle roar is a constant reminder of where you are.

Sand- As much as I don't like it all in my bathingsuit, I do like it under my feet. And I love that it's pure white.

Relaxing atmosphere- When I'm at the beach, I'm almost never in a hurry. Life is better when it's slowed down a notch every now and then.

Great pictures- Hopefully, I'll get a chance to take some great pictures while we're here.

Great food- Grilled food, seafood, desserts, and popcicles are some of the great food we have at the beach.

Time to think- Usually this is a good thing. Sometimes not at first, but after I take the time to work through all my thoughts and feelings, I always feel a great deal better.

Time to write- As I'm doing now, I try to take time to write while I'm here. Life gets busy and I don't have too much time during the school year.

Possible para-sailing?- Maybe... :)

Because I Love Her

Please check this out. It's from a friend of mine's blog. It's a great reminder for us.

Because I Love Her

Starkville minus Classes!

I finished finals last Wednesday, but didn't go home right away because I'm going to the beach with my family on Sunday, and it would be pointless to drive to Texas, only to turn around a week later and go to Florida. My two best friends moved in with us last week too, so we spend the week getting things settled. And probably the best reason was to relax and de-stress from the semester. It has been really great.

The end of the semester is really bittersweet. It's sad seeing all my friends going in different directions for the next three months. Some are headed to internships all over the country, others are headed home, and some are headed to different countries. It's exciting because of the opportunities and I know we'll all meet back up in Starkville once the summer is over. So good luck to all of you and vaya con Dios!

I'm excited about spending a week at the beach with my family. My brother is graduating from high school on the fifteenth, so we're going to spend a week together celebrating that and my mom's retirement. No more chirens to teach. I love the beach and I love my family, so it will be an amazing week!

Finally

Finals week is here and all the stress and frustration that accompany it. Yesterday and today were pretty crazy. Amidst studying for finals, we were moving in two new roommates. Exciting to have new roommates, but moving is always a pain. It's much better now that they are semi settled. Tonight is the first night with all of us in the house. This is going to be a good thing.

Not unusual for me, I was disappointed again tonight. This seems to be a recurring theme with the summer coming up... I got news that the lake trip that we take with the college and career class at church is canceled. I really look forward to this trip every summer. It usually winds up being the highlight of my summer. This year will be different. A few people in the group decided to have a third lake trip in September (which I can't go to because I'll be at school). This was originally in addition to the June and August trips. Well, from what little I've heard, a couple of people decided it would be too expensive and canned the June trip. I don't get it. I'm pretty sure this was the decision of like, two people. I don't guess the rest of us matter enough to contribute to decisions like that.

This Sunday school class has meant the world to me the past few years. I have loved the fellowship and the teaching that I've received from it. But in the last year, things have started to change dramatically. I don't feel so much a part of it anymore. I know I live away during the semester, but for the past three summers I've been there. I come every time I can. It seems like other people have replaced me now, and I resent it. I know it's not really like that, and that's a petty way to look at it, but that's the way it feels. I'm loosing yet another place where I felt like I belonged. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now.

I feel like I've totally lost my place in the church. When I'm at school, I go to the service on Sunday mornings, but I don't feel like it's my church home. I don't feel like I can get too involved because I'll be gone in a year. When I'm back in Texas, it doesn't feel like that's my church home either because though I know people there, they could care less that I've been gone, or that I'm back. I used to think that the college and career class was my place, but even they don't care so much anymore. I'm out of sight, out of mind.

I hate that I have these feelings of resentment and bitterness. I'm downright angry at times. Sometimes I don't even know why. Everything's out of place and I hate it. Everything and everyone I lean on either falls to pieces or disappears. I get my hopes up and am constantly let down. I hope for a sign that someone wants me and it never comes. I look for a place to be wanted and there's nowhere for me. The very time when I need it most, no one's around. Sometimes it even feels like God's not listening to me. Why should he after all I've said and done? I know the churchy answer to this, but that's just not cutting it right now. Those things come across at trite and almost condescending.

The Guy's Guide to Girls: Part One

Ok guys, y'all are always talking about how girls are so complicated and how you don't understand us. Maybe this will help. Here are a few helpful hints from the female world. Take it to heart, then USE IT. Girls, feel free to comment and add more. Thanks to my anonymous girl friends who contributed to this post.

If hanging out is to be done, it will not be suggested by me. You must act like you want to see me.

If I'm giving one-word answers it means one of three things: 1) I'm busy and really don't want to talk right now, 2) I don't know what to say, 3) I'm mad at you. Fix it.

We want to know that you think about us. It takes something as simple as "I miss you" or "You've been on my mind today" or "I can't wait to see you."

Nothing hurts more than being cheated or forgotten. Avoid at all costs.

Don't think you can fix everything. The dryer or car? Yes. My issues? Probably not. I need support, space, and time.

I understand you're busy and so am I, but when you can spend all day procrastinating homework, you can spend a little bit of time with me. You make time for the things you care about. When you don't make time for me, I feel like you don't care about me.

Don't talk much about exes. Yours or mine. The past should stay right where it is-in the past.

If you want to talk to me, text or call. Don't expect me to initiate all the time.

Having long, drawn out conversations over text is OBNOXIOUS.

We have no idea what you're thinking. We are always wondering what you're thinking. Make it easy and tell us if we ask.

Do not say things that you don't mean. Even though you think we want to hear it, later when we find out it wasn't true, we'll never forget it. Tell me the truth.

If you like me, be a man and tell me so.

Don't lie. We WILL find out.

Don't diss our friends or family. Not cool.

Unless you tell us specifically not to tell our best friend, we probably will. We talk about everything to those closest to us. It's how we operate.

Actually listen when we talk. If you keep asking the same questions over and over again, we will get annoyed.

It's ok to act like you like me if we're dating. It won't kill you to hold my hand. I won't protest.

You will make my day if you send me a good morning message.

When I say I don't want to talk about something, I probably mean it. Don't push the issue.

When I do want to talk about it, I'll probably mutter something then say "I don't know..."

When you ask me if I'm ok, and I say "I'm fine," I am not fine. Pretty much anything other than good (accompanied with a smile), great, fabulous, or spectacular means I'm not fine.

My heart melts when I hear you talk about your relationship with God or hear you pray. Definitely do that. Frequently.

Tell me, with words, out loud, that I'm special to you and that you care about me.

You-messed-up Flowers: good. Just-because Flowers: even better.

A hug never hurt anybody.

It's ok for you to ask me questions.

Chivalry is never dead in a girl's mind. Opening doors and holding out chairs gets you bonus points.

Treat me like a lady.

Though I may be a girl, I'm not as fragile as you think.

Don't badger me into doing something I don't want to do.

Even if we "hang out," a real date would be nice.

Don't get mad at me for things that you do all the time.

I'm willing to play sports, watch action movies, and do other things you like to do. Do something I like to do once and a while without me having to pull your leg or guilt you into it.

If I'm trying to do something, don't automatically swoop in and do it for me. I can do things for myself. If I ask for help, that's a different story.

A girl loves to hear that she's beautiful every once in a while.

Apathy

Being apathetic is a pathetic way to be, according to Relient K. But that's where I find myself tonight. I suppose it's a product of the end of the semester and summer-itis. I'm tired of dealing with stuff.

After exams next week, I'll spend the following week doing stuff around the house getting ready for my roomies to movie in. Then I'm headed to the sunshine state for a week. I can't wait. It'll be good time with family, and time to myself. I can detox from the baggage I've been carrying around and maybe get some clarity and peace. Then I'll be ready for a summer. A good summer. I wanna work and travel some this summer. We'll see what opportunities open up.

I bought a Love and Theft album the other day. One $8 on iTunes. It's really good. It's country, but not honky tonk country. It's also got Christian themes in it. Good stuff. Check out this song.

I finished two projects today after tracking tornadoes that were everywhere this morning. Kinda scary, but I didn't freak out like I normally do. Probably because 1) I couldn't hear the sirens, 2) I had my weather friends checking up on me and giving me info and 3) I was able to know where the tornadoes were from the internet and tv. So it was kinda exciting.

Only three finals separating me from summer. Yee haw.

Unsettled

He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back

Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred,
But I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be
"Near to You"- A Fine Frenzy

Still bummed about summer plans falling through. I've been in a weird mood today. Unsettled is the best way I can describe it. Still reeling over past hurts. Not sure what to do about that except try to forget.

On one hand, I want someone. Terribly. On the other, I don't want anyone. Because if I don't "have" anyone, I won't have to worry about getting hurt or hurting someone else. And I can do my own thing. But that's neither here nor there.

No Emo

I haven't gone off my rocker and gotten all emo and clinically depressed. It was a bad week is all. When things don't pan out, even the best of us can get upset. The weekend was good, so that helped me get over things. Three more days and I'm done with class, then three exams and I'm home free for the summer.

Rejected

I heard back from the Nicaragua trip. I wasn't selected. I had my hopes up that I would get picked to go. I didn't really entertain the thought that I wouldn't get to. I almost wish I had doubted that more because when I got news today, it was a hard letdown. At least I heard it from a friend first. That made it a little better because he tried to make me feel better about it. I could go down there for a week just to visit, see some sights, and get acquainted with the culture. I might do that, I don't know yet.

It's really hard to be rejected like that. It's happened to me a few times before. Whether it be rejection from a job or position, or from a person, it's really hard for me to deal with that. To know that you and your qualities and qualifications were lined up next to other people's and you weren't good enough is really hard to take. I strive to do the best I can, and end up not making the cut. It makes me not want to try anymore. Not just with stuff like the Nicaragua thing, but with relationships as well. I've been rejected and that's not something I can bounce back from easily. It makes me question everything I am and everything I do. It seems like everything I set my heart to completely comes undone. Everything I strive so hard for and want so badly slips through my fingers.

I can sense feelings rising that plagued me last semester. I cannot afford to go back to that again. But right now I want to crawl in bed and sleep for a long time. I don't want to have to deal with these thoughts and the emotions that accompany them. I want to shut down.

No Time!

I've been meaning to post for a while. But I don't have much time, so here's the short version.

I got Photoshop! Exciting! I'm still loving my photography class. We're doing portraits next week. Kind of a challenge.

I am a drama queen. I don't like that. I shall seek to change that. Yuck. Also, 95% of my drama is boy-related.

I've been working out. Sometimes fun, sometimes not, but it's a means to an end. That end being a little black swimsuit that came in the mail the other day. Also, looking fabulous all around. ha ha.

One full week of classes left. Wow. The semester has been pretty great, but kinda short.

I have the summer bug. I'm so ready.

I haven't heard if I'm going to Nicaragua yet or not. I'm getting nervous/impatient. I'm supposed to hear sometime this week.

That's all I have time for. I'm off to study astronomy. Yay. (That was an un-enthusiastic yay, btw.)