Winding Down

Our trip to the Hill Country was great. We spent four days in a cabin that had a river nearby. It was great spending time with my family, eating, talking, and playing in the river. The scenery on the drive up there and back was really pretty. I also had plenty of time to think through some things, and I have to say I came back better than I went. I've got a peace of mind about things that I didn't have, and didn't expect to find anytime soon.

The summer is starting to wind down. It makes me sad, because there is still lots I'd like to do and it seems like I'm running out of time. I don't enjoy the transitions I have to make between my life here in Texas and my life in Mississippi. It's hard for me to go back and forth between them. If I could only combine the good parts of both, I'd be one happy chica. I miss my friends in Mississippi, but I am going to miss my family and friends in Texas when I go back to school. But such is life. I've got some time left here, so I'll take it day by day, and when it comes time to leave, I'll embrace that eleven hour drive back to my Mississippi, and look forward to the good times that lie ahead there, here, and somewhere in between.

R&R

~*~

This week we've been working hard in the house (as we have all summer). We have gotten a lot accomplished, but it's been pretty tiring. My dad came home from England yesterday, and tomorrow we are going to a cabin in the Hill Country for a few days for some R&R and to spend some time with my dad. When he comes home, there is always so much to do that he leaves even more tired than he was when he got here. It will be nice to spend some time together as a family. As we get older and grow up, it gets harder for all of us to get together at the same time. Right now, there are three households that have to coordinate in order for us to be together. Someone told me recently that we're complicated and I agree!

I personally am looking forward to no facebook, no phone, and no stress. I want to spend the day sleeping, reading, eating, and doing lots of nothing. I need to take some time for me to let go of things I've been worrying about, and find my upbeat attitude again. It's gotten lost here in the past few days. The world isn't coming to an end just because things aren't working out the way I want them to. Plus, in the grand scheme of things, my dramas aren't really that big. It only seems that way at the moment. I think I know what will help...reading Pride and Prejudice again. Jane Austen always makes me feel better. :)

~*~

Sunsets

I looked out the kitchen window this evening while I was cooking supper and I just had to step outside and take a few pictures. I always try to capture the sunset in a picture, but it never comes out quite like it is in person. These are pretty close though.

Sunsets never seem to last long enough. The colors change so rapidly that in just a little while everything turns to night. Seems like some things in my life are sunsets. They don't last long enough, and then everything turns to night. Night isn't a bad thing, as long as the stars are out, but it seems to go on forever sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could capture those things like I try to capture the sunset. But, like the picture, it won't be quite like the original.

~*~

Clingy?!?

I think I have come to the realization that I am clingy. :/ Not something I have aspired to be, and I have denied it before, but I think I am. But is it my personality or just a part of being a female? I know that I tend to be singular in my focus when it comes to something I feel strongly about. It's like I wrap my whole life around that focus. Sometimes it's an activity, sometimes an object, or sometimes a person. In the case of a person, a guy to be exact, I think about him all the time, want to talk or see him as much as I can. I tend to mesh everything together and incorporate him into my life. I want to text often, telling him everything that's going on in my life at that particular moment. I think that's part of being female, connecting everything together, like spaghetti (see previous blog post here if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about). Guys, on the other hand, tend to compartmentalize, like waffles. Work is one thing, family another, and girl yet another. Can you see how this might lead to frustration? The girl gets put out when she doesn't hear from the guy as much as she thinks she should. She feels forgotten about. The guy doesn't understand why she's aggravated, he was busy. Surely she could understand that. And the girl thinks, "Well, I was busy too, but I still found time to talk to you!" Oh my. Well, based on this, I'm thinking "clingy-ness" is a part of being female. Not every girl is always clingy, or as clingy as others, but I still think it happens. So, I guess it takes patience and the girl's part, and understanding on the guys. Just one of those differences that we have to learn how to deal with and compromise. What do you think?

Free to Be Me

At twenty years of age

I'm still looking for a dream

A war's already waged for my destiny

But you've already won the battle

And you've got great plans for me

Though I can't always see

*

'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender

Got a couple rips in my jeans

Try to fit the pieces together

But perfection is my enemy

And on my own I'm so clumsy

But on your shoulders I can see

I'm free to be me

*

When I was just a girl

I thought I had it figured out

My life would turn out right

And I'd make it here somehow

But things don't always come that easy

And sometimes I would doubt

*

'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

And you're free to be you

*

Sometimes I believe

That I can do anything

Yet other times I think

I've got nothing good to bring

But you look at my heart and you tell me

That I've got all you seek

And it's easy to believe

Even though

*

'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

*

Francesca Battistelli